Compassion. Trust. Celebrities.*
*not actual celebrities
You’re in legal trouble. Maybe you’ve fallen into the glamourous world of cheque kiting, or you defaced a perfume kiosk at a shopping mall. Maybe you defamed a public luminary on a social networking site or you accidentally spray-painted your neighbour’s car.
Anyone who has been on trial will tell you: it’s boring. The lawyers drone on about motions to suppress and the judge calmly dismisses them. If they’re that polite in criminal court, imagine what civil court is like. If you hire the wrong legal team, you could have a stultifying months-long trial. Why take a chance? We have the most dramatic lawyers in the business. Literally.
At Matlock, McBeal and McCoy, all of our lawyers are TV lawyer lookalikes – professional actors who look and sound just like the television lawyers you know and love. If you hire us, you’ll have the trial of your life!
Our lawyers have spent hours studying legal practice by watching legal dramas and comedies, from Law & Order: Criminal Intent to Law & Order: True Crime, from The Defenders to The Practice. If you’ve heard of it, we’ve seen it. Who would you rather have on your side, a bookworm wallflower with a 180 LSAT who graduated summa cum laude from Harvard Law, or a theatrical wizard who can shout down your opponents so persuasively you’ll want to nominate them for an Oscar? Join the winners* at Matlock, McBeal and McCoy today!
* not actual winners
Our Legal Team
Ban Matlock
In 2011, Ban Matlock was barred from practicing law, but he was recently disbarred, so he is now back at work.
Allie McBeal
Allie McBeal is our resident legal scholar and innovator, renowned for her novel objections and motions. She famously invented the “motion to impress,” a hand gesture used to underscore particularly sensational testimony.
Jacques McCoy
Jacques McCoy is a familiar face from stage and screen. He had a starring role as the judge in an unaired pilot for Law of the Jungle (an animated series about a philandering panda). He has been an usher for productions of To Kill a Mockingbird, A Man for All Seasons, and Twelve Angry Men.
Praise for Matlock, McBeal & McCoy
Praise for Matlock
“Matlock is not bound by the conventional rules of evidence or procedural requirements once he gets into a courtroom. He can say anything and introduce any sort of evidence… Be prepared for the obligatory confessions and breakdowns on the witness stand. The prosecutors can only shake their heads and bluster helplessly in the face of Matlock’s cunning strategy.” — aimless-46
“Some people have complained, because Matlock always seems to win. I say what is wrong with that? I guess I’m old school” — Brownsbros3
Praise for McBeal:
“However ridiculous the case… took the legal arguments seriously… [her] summations were a work of art… had me laughing so hard that I was literally fighting for breath… Just brilliant… jaywalks the border between genius and insanity.” — loza-1
“Manipulates the members of the jury and at the same time surprises the judge and the various counselors and even the accused, the defendant and the accuser, and everyone in the case.” — Dr_Coulardeau
Praise for McCoy:
”Often, the bad guys get off on legal technicalities.” — DHD99
“Very realistic and thought-out two minute long closing arguments.” — salackar
Careers
Matlock, McBeal and McCoy is hiring! We are the world’s preeminent law firm staffed entirely by impersonators of famous television lawyers. If you’re going on trial, who do you want in your corner, one of the no-name attorneys from a generic law firm, or Perry Mason*?
* or a reasonable likeness
We need new lawyers! Could you play Atticus Finch, Alicia Florrick, Saul Goodman or Jackie Chiles in a real life courtroom when a client’s freedom is on the line? If your answer is “yes!,” we want to hear from you.
Qualifications:
- Resemblance to a famous television lawyer or a willingness to modify your appearance (using makeup, prosthetics, etc)
- An insatiable thirst for victory
- Attention to detail, strong organizational skills, and the desire to excel in a fast-paced, team-oriented, people-first environment
- Capacity to memorize dozens of legal-sounding terms
- Some knowledge of law an asset